Sunday, April 20, 2008

love triangle

afta the L.A riots, the jungle got all depressed socialy, economicaly
and mentaly. businesses and what was left of the hard working middle
class community moved out to places like Inglewood, valley, riverside
county. years lata, majic johnson steped up to the rescue with the
construction and opening of the majic johnson theater (King and molton).
a year lata, banks, grocery chains set up shops in the community, rakin
in serious black $s. the jungle, from jeferson and crenshaw down to
slouson and crenshaw is the fastest growing community in L.A, even
walmart got a piece of the action (King and crenshaw)....
tho' the jungle witnessed a lot of gang activities in the eighties and
early nineties...the jungle was mainly a blood gang area (Piru blood)
the crips dominated the gang scene in the south central part of L.A,
the inglewood allstars dominated the inglewod area, rolin' 60's crips
out of hoover, acadian squad (armenian gangs) out of the valley and
occasional poachers from riverside (riverside brothers, the 8th street
crawlers, latin kings from the east side, the lo feng from anaheim in
OC. but thanks to strong policing and strong community anti gang
activities the jungle kinna got quiet gangstawise....
some of the major streets in the jungle are...santa rosalia, nicolet,
summerset, palmwood drive........"King kong ain't got nothing on
me"....'am sure you guys remember that phrase by Denzel wahington in
TRAINING DAY...that scene was shot on palmwood drive in the jungle/also
denzels pad ....4136 palwood drive. (my 1st pad stra8 out of da modaland)
one of the residents on palmwood drive was reginald and silvia hayes,
they moved from Alabama in the sixties, Cedrick was their only
son..like a lot of kids in the hood, cedrick droped out of high school,
geting quick bucks was the order of the day especialy in the jungle,
the damn place was so freagin' infested with drugs, crack heads,
poachers and hoodlums. tho din' cop no jail time, cedrick was into
everything from drugs to check frauds and all kinna ilegal ish and
ishies, his girlfriend was Tanya, Tanya and her parents kicked it down
the street from cedrick and his folks, they went to t/same highschool
but Tanya didn't quit high school like cedrick. one thing tho', they
were very in love..
afta high school, tanya got a job with the DMV in inglewood CA (Hardy
and la brea). they were inseperable, they did everything together, they
holla backn forth 'bout mariage and kids....but cedrick wasn't your
average one woman man. nicca banged all the chics in the hood, some
even got pregnant (2 kids)...Tanya, always devastated off cedricks's
multiple stunts but wasn't about to ket that nicca go. family and
friends advised tanya to move on with her life but homeghel ingnored
em' all. like daily, 411 gets back to Tanya about cedricks escapades
with from around da way and,homeboy rollin' to palm springs, vegas and
with all kinna chicks including Tanya's best friend. other chics..Tanya
found out about homeboy and her best friend and broke up with
cedrick...devastated and embarrassed, tanya moved to inglewood..down
the street from her job(DMV). for like 2 years, homeboy ignored Tanya.
hurt and depressed, she took a leave of absence from her job for like 3
months....her parents advised her to seek counseling and move on with
her life but homeghel stayed home, she cried and starved herself for
weeks ......non stop.
Tanya and Roy......
finaly she agreed to go out with one of her friends from the DMV, they
picked the "golden tail" in el segundo CA...the golden tail was da shit
back in da nineties...the golden tail was on the ground floor of the 18
story xerox bld rite in the corporate heart el segundo....you got
giants like martel, xerox, unocal, boeing, raytheon and all dem fortune
500 types. tanya met roy @ the golden tail night club. roy, an
elctronics eng' with raytheon missiles systems rite across the street
from the club. raytheon cranksout the famous tomahawk and patriot
missile systems.
so afta dating for like 3 months, tanya fell in love with roy (so she
thot) months lata they moved in together...roy, your average nice guy,
he took good care of tanya, he was a good provider.......but roy wasn't
cedrick. so she managed to roll by her old hood in the jungle to say hi
to her parents @ thesame time always hoping to run into cedrick...she
did on 2 occasions...cedrick was rolling down the street in a lex with
one of her old friends.....she cried allday.
Tanya tried deperately to solidify her relastionship with Roy...even
tossed around mariage talk here n there...but things rapidly got
f.ucked...roy lost his job'cos of defence cut backs... roy's mother got
sick with terminal cancer back in cleveland ohio, his brother got
sentencd to life imprisonment for armed robbery murder.......roy hit
the pavement daily trynna get a job while tanya strained heavily to
keep up with the rent and other bills......they strugled to keep their
relashionship afloat but deep down, shit was f.ucked and cracking up
real bad...Tanya was geting more and more grouchy and roy was getting
more and more depresed, his mother was dying and the job situation
wasn't lookin' too cool...... their financial situation got worse......
Tanya and Cedrick again......
Cedrick was @ the DMV to handle some business and tanya was @ work,
they exchanged words so lata that evening, they went out to
dinner.....Tanya felt the old cedrick like instantly....anyways, they
banged and reminisce for hours. Tanya and cedrick got into crippin' and
highwire escapades for several months.....tho' roy suspected but didn't
confront tanya 'cos shit was f.ucked financialy @ home and tanya was
buying new cloths, jewelries, shoes, $300.00 groceries...he kinna
figured it out real quick.
tanya was steady kickin' it with cedrick every day after work.
tho she invites roy out to dinner every now and then but knowing the
possible source of her money, roy automatically backs out.
afraid of loosing tanya, roy pounded the pavement harder but was turned
down everywhere...his mother died, roy was a mess and Tanya was six
months pregie.
months lata, tanya gave birth to Roy jr, Roy was happy but still
depresed and afraid of loosing tanya to her ex boyfriend cedrick......
months lata, cedrick calling himself a changed man asked tanya to move
in with him...tanya refused 'cos according to her heart, she's one day
geting maried to Roy (not too sure tho) so cedrick tried desperately to
convince tanya ...he tore up his playa black book, always at home to
recieve tanya's calls, nicca all of a sudden considrate and
affectionate, calls her @ work 3 times a day, sends 1 800 flowers to
her job ... geting her coworkers jealous n shit, takes her out to
dinner twice a week, showers
her with expensive gifts.
yes cedrick was a changed man and would do anything to get tanya back,
tanya was feeling cedrick too so she agreed to move in with cedrick.
but what about roy? tanya decided to talk to roy.....her family advised
her not to breakup with roy...once again tanya refused 'cos cedrick was
her first and still in love with him.....another concern was tanya's
baby, (whose?) deep down, tanya and cedrick knew the baby was theirs
together.
For weeks tanya tried to break the news to roy but could not muster the
courage.........
finaly, one sunday night while kickin' it in cedricks car outside
tanyas house, cedrick managed to convince tanya to confront roy. roy as
usual was in the bedroom thinking about his situation, his dead mother,
his jailed brother, and the thot of loosing tanya to her ex
boyfriend......tanya asked roy for a min' to talk about some stuff
that's been bugging her (roy knew exactly what she was about to
say..but kept quiet) tanya finished her story and roy shruged ...saying
ok no problem, tanya said thanks for listening and
understanding.....roy, having lil or nothing going for him..... no job,
his mother just died, his one and only brother kickin' it in jail 4
life and he's loosing the love of his life to her ex....tanya was happy
things went well with roy....so she rushed downstairs to update cedrick
who was still kickin' it in his car outside...
cedrick welcomed the news with great joy but roy didn't......tanya and
cedrick spent hrs in the car hugging and kissing, planing their future
and how they're going to raise their baby (roy jr).... around midnight
tanya ran inside to check on the baby, roy was with the baby in their
bedroom, tanya took the baby, played with the baby for a couple of
mins...she put the baby back in his crib..she was like roy, are you ok?
roy shook his head saying yes...tanya turned around to go back outside
to cedrick...roy called tanya by her middle name "andrea" tanya turned
around......pah pah pah...3 gunshots struck tanya, 2 struck her neck,
one in her stomach...roy walked over to tanya's blood drenched body,
she was trembling and gasping for air, trying to crawl to her
baby...roy stood over her body screaming 'am sorry babe 'am sorry
babe...tanya was dying....roy pumped one single shot to the baby's
head, splashing the baby's brain all over the white baby crib.......roy
pumped another single shot down his own throat..........Cedrick heard
the gunshots and for some weird reason knew exactly what just
happened... he rushed inside .....there was blood everywhere...cedrick
screamed tanya my baby, tanya my baby...neighbours called 911...the
police arived...cedrick was still screaming tanya tanya my baby my
baby......
Cedrick morned Tanya and his son for 2 years/blaming himself for
tanya's death/his son too
Cedrick remained single, he refused to date. he's a born again
christian and currently the resident preacher at the joyful union
congregation in Bell flower CA.
adisa mutiu
coiled off omo eko's love series archives

have you ever been f---

This is a true story...with some name changes to protect privacy.
This is a work in progress with minimal editing and proof reading.
Have you ever been f.....NO!!!!!NO!!!!!NO!!!!NO!!!!. I'll ask the
question at the end on this story.....please follow me.
Toyin was and still a loud mouth, toyin was and still one of the most
bautiful girls around she's got the best body packed with the best
boops i have ever layed my busy eyes on and please don't ask me about
the bootie 'cos it's one of the best (L.A SCALE...PERFECT 10). I took
Biology 20 with toyin at chafey college.(San banandino county. CA)
I admire toyin's beauty and phisycal attributes a lot (Not her
personalty)'cos toyin talks a lot and most of the S**t that comes out
of her mouth is always wack, one sided and aginst men, so i ignore
toyin all the time no mata what (tho she checks me out all the time
especialy my clothing).
Dotun...Dotun was a hater and still a hater (Dotun was my class mate in
high school back home) I did not like him then and i still don't like
him, Some how this dotun guy showed up in my Biology 20 class and i
said to my self....What da f**k, dont tell me this a/hole is taking
this class with me. yes he was in my Biology 20 class and guess what?
this fool and toyin are friends...all hugging in the middle of the
class, anyway the fist day of class went well no major episode, few
months later at the end of the class we agreed to exchanged #s as per
the only naija's in the class and also promised to keep in touch.( we
all aced the class).
Toyin was at the club one night with some fool who rolled up in a LEX,
she acknowledge me (i was with a date)I acknowledge her too, we danced
twice and took a walk outside for some fresh air...she asked me if my
date is my girl and i said no (da tru) we just hangout and bang each
other every now and then. Toyin shook her head and mumbled under her
breath ...so you are still the same **a (my real name) where tha hell
you got that s**t from and before i finished asking the question, i did
a mental calculation and came up with a name...DOTUN..guys , you see
why i no like this dotun guy. Toyin cleaned it up quickly ...no no we
were just joking (yeah) so i saked toyin what's with the baller she
rolled up with ..Guess what her answer was....He is just a friend
(OOOOOOOOK) On that note i said i got to get back inside my date is
waiting, toyin pulled me back and gave me some funny look but she let
go when i turned around.
I left about an hour later she walked me outside but did not say a word
to my date (i din't introduce them and it was very intentional)'cos
(this is for the guys) Never Never show your cards to girls till u are
ready to make da move on them, your joker is the element of
suprise...If u showed ur cards too soon, she'll be ready for you with
all kind of BS and all pretentious...///WORD.
Anyway she asked me if my # is still t/same....i go sure, we huged,(i
felt something around her waist, i din't know what but i have an
idea..i'll tell you guys 'bout it lata) kissed(cheeks) and said
goodby. My date did not ask me a thing about her (she's cool like that
with omo eko).........]]]]]]]]]]]TWO SUMMERS LATER.
I steped inside my pad, locked my door peel of my expensive fabrics,
took off my sandini albatore shoes, yank off my brief ( omo eko hate
boxers..) and crashed peacefuly 'cos omo eko's king size bed is always
ready for any kind of crashing. (I was at a party the previous
night...I met Tracy and a got her #...must be in my wallet)
Omo eko woke up the next morning (11:30 am. sunday) feeeling tired and
hungry. I open up my drape and windows.....geee it's going to be
another lovely day in sunny southern california i said to my self, i
made a cup of fine ceylon tea, grab my sunday paper and started to
walk back to the bedroom.....geeeez my phone is ringing i turned around
and picked it up to look at the C/ID...It was TOYIN.
Hey **a (my real name) how ya doing/Hey TOYIN what's up. she said nun
much about you...i said busy let me call u back.(guys,never tell a girl
nun much, always tell them you busy and u'll call 'em back 'cos this
bumps up ur ratings and profile... u don't want to creat the impresion
dat u ain't got no action)...Anyway i called her back 2 hrs lata and
guess what, she answered at the 1st ring 'cos omo eko's name and number
showed up on her cely.
So are u still busy she asked me and i go no 'am cool...so is ur girl
still there she asked again...i go so what ya up to..(ignoring her
question ...keep her guessing).
Toyin asked me if i would like to hang out, go to the beach, movies or
something....sure why not but 'am kind a tired tho 'cos i was out last
night (what's going on here i asked myself) ok why don't i just come
over, listen to some music and catch up. i said sure...(So Toyin is on
her way to omo eko's pad..it's 45 mins drive from the valey) so i hit
the shower and straigthen things arund my pad (tho omo eko's pad is
always good to go)i picked out an oversized white shirt and a beige
pants...you see white gives you this clean superior aura.....anyway
lets keep the story roling....so i did some pushups and press ups to
highlight my six packs.....knock knock....Toyin is at omo eko's
door(she must have burnt some heavy gas to get here so quickly)
Hey whats up T/what's up **a (my real name)anyway omo eko asked her to
come in and make her self comfortable.
So this is where u stay, ur place is nice (tell me something i don't
know) thanks. so toyin is checking out omo eko's pad, going tru omo
eko's foto album(checking out my girls)...guys u see, girls will walk
around ur joint to feel.the vibes, to see if it's da kind of place they
would love to get banged @.
I asked toyin what she would like to drink(she's now checking out my
wine rack, my wine collection) about some wine she replied...what kind
i asked back, about a red,may be a merlot or a shiraz if u have(i think
her knowledge of wine is good...omo eko is impresed) yes i do.....i
picked out 2000 vintage shiraz by alice white australian
appelation...omo eko showed her the label before uncocking. (always
show the label before u
uncock...wine etiquette) i took 2 glasses and grab the bottle and head
for the living room (now she is checking out my music colection )so i
ask her to select whatever she feels like listning to..she picked out
barrington levy...shine eye girl, i agreed with her selection.(guys,
always let girls pick out the music 'cos it's a strike aginst u when
they show up @ ur pad and u crancking some s**t they dislike)
So we talk for a while like we realy catching up...'am feeling the
wine/she's feeling the wine so we decided to dance to sweet barrington
levy...i turned up the volume, place my hands around her waist...Do u
..guys remember the thing i felt around toyin's waist a while
back...now i know what it was, ...so we are dancing, toching and
grinding...i opened another bottle of alice white.....(ok ok ok now i
must tell u guys 'am feeling something /she is feeling something) she
looked @ me i looked @ her and 'am asking my self what da hell is going
on .....this girl is so beautiful, so physicaly endowed, and thats all
i like about her but it's not omo eko's style to chicken out especialy
with loud mouth TOYIN....Anyway lets keep the story rolling ...so omo
eko steped up close to toyin ...toyin did not make any atempt to pull
away so omo eko moved in for the kill ..... now kissing...holding each
other tight, pelvis to pelvis, the full weight of her rack is on me
(very warm)
..she pused for a sec to catch her breath..that din't take long 'cos we
were right back @ it ...our hands are doing all kinds of
explorations...she pused again this time to take off her top 'cos it's
going to get ruined(yeah)ok now...'am in full omo eko's trade mark
mode..she pushed me against the wall and unziped my fly/omo eko unziped
hers too (she was wearing a white linen short...i like)......
OOOOOh s**t the thing around her waist again...now it's in full
view....siting nicely on her waist, nice panties too (white lace
panties...omo eko prefer thongs ..but this is some high quality lace
panties...very clasy.)the thing is ileke in (yoruba) i don't know what
it's called in the east or north (please let me know guys) this ileke
thing kind of send some warm feelings tru my body......this is some
cool stuff ...anyway we are now crashing the sofa...still doing some
heavy explorations..no restrictions on both sides.
U see, i don't mind handling my s**t on the sofa...but not this kind of
deal..so we moved to the bedroom where we finaly shed da rest of our
fabrics...now it's skin to skin..heat to heat...she's got some very
flat stomach, nice and agresive boobs, beautiful waist and that ileke
thing again...OMG. anyway i started of nice and smooth keeping a
steady tempo....her back is fuly arched to keep pace with my
tempo....she locked her legs around my back (grecian lock....omo eko is
giving her a lot props)...I increased my tempo with a long and steady
thrust......(i like moaners ...but TOYIN is screaming and moaning) she
moaned and mumble **a don't stop...mins later we exchaged positions
...now toyin is on top of omo eko ...whinning and grinding( I think she
came twice already) mins later i took over and increased the tempo
...she's sweating/'am sweating(she smell good too, nice perfum...i
think magie nois) our pelvis are hiting t/same note at the same time am
increasing the thrust....she is now shaking, her legs a little thighter
around my waist her moaning is now hiting a high note (i think she's
coming again...i think i am too)she's moving her head from left to
right almost violently
but omo eko is still going ,keeping the same pace...now her body
movement is eratic and unsteady......she came and held me for 'bout a
cople of mins (dang she smell good...even after sex)...............NOW
PEOPLE... something just happend and u guys won't believe this
S**t.....she rolled over....i rolled over too and thats when we both
looked at each other ....she screamd and ran to the bathroom... ...i
ran after her but she slamed the door...... i realy got to use the
bathroom but she stayed in the bathroom for 'bout 20]30mins....all i
could hear was ......OH MY GOD!!!!SHHHHHH!!!!!OH MY GOD.
i 'am saying almost t/same thing to myself but not as loud ......Anyway
she finaly let me in the bathroom....i took a nice hot shower...she
later ask me to get her bag from her car ...which i did.
Guys, she is not saying much and omo eko is not saying much
either....she went back to the bathroom and stayed there for another
20mins....she is very quiet..and VERY VERY EMBARRASED AND I AM FEELING
VERY VERY SORRY FOR HER.
GUYS, GUESS WHAT?....SHE SHIT ON HERSELF DURING SEX AND DID NOT KNOW.
NOW...THIS IS MY QUESTION......
GUYS...HAVE YOU EVER F**K THE SHIT OUT OF A GIRL?
GIRLS..HAVE YOU EVER BEEN F**K THE SHIT OUT OF?
OR IS THIS AN ANOMALY?
PART 2....LATA

fendie and yemisie

me and yemsie spent the whole weekend @ moms and it was kinna nice,moms is into yemisie like crazy...guys, on Saturday, moms and yemisie was in the kitchen acting like they cookin' n shit but they was gossipin' and talkin’ all kinna shit about me...y'all know how women do....anyways, i heard moms saying..i think my boy thinks highly of you and fendie bringing you here says a lot...he's a very smart boy and i'm proud of him, he's doing a lot to get his act together, you know...going back to school, working hard over there @ the pharmacy, he sneaks hundreds of dollars into my purse every other week ...tho i don't need his money. his father left more than enuff before he passed(God bless his soul)..I just put his money in the bank for him,i'm planning something big for his graduation...Are you going to be @the graduation? she asked yemisie...yemisie looked stuned cos i never mentioned anything about me graduating or even going to school and due to cop ma BA degree n shit...I was going to suprise her...well, iguess thare ain't gonna be no surprise...so yemisie played along like she knew about it....she said yes def'.....i'm happy for him too.. then she got all serious....she was like, mumy, i love fendie, and i one dayhope to marry him....he's been very good to me. you've raised a verygood young man....tears was rolling down moms eyes...yemisie huggedher, she then whispered in her ear that she'll do every thing in herpower to make her son happy.....i just walked away from the door happyand alarmed.....alarmed about what?? I still don't know but yemisie ishappy, moms is happy so i'm happy too....i'm i in love?? I really don'tknow...but i digg yemisie to the max.....she's a good girl and ain'truling out marriage...marraofact i'd love to. that nite, we didn't say much to, we just hugged/kissed went tosleep.....................so sunday morning her and moms was 'pposed tobe going to church n all. but she was up in the corner of the room allinto some heavy karate shit....she does that karate ish all the time soi was like what's with you and this karate thing...she was looking sexy and HOT in them karate fit tho'' i mean, sweat rolling down her neck tothe middle of her chest ...highlighting her pointed nipples, her flat wash board tommy shinny with sweat and glowing off her dark african taned skin.........i was gonna jump her too...well, she was like...doyou really wanna know why i do this...so i said yes..sure tell me...spit it... she repeated the question like daring me to say yesagain...so i said sure tell me....it's a long story she said....so, i got time..i replied. ..... Well, she spilled the whole shit in one take without stoping to catchher breath or acknowledge my reaction/s. fendie, something happened to me a long long time ago, somethinghappened and i lost my parents when i was about 6-7 yrs old and ipromised myself neva to be defenseless and unable to defend myself andmy loved ones...I've been into karate for almost 2 yrs now and I have ablack belt in Karate.. .................. fendie, i was born in a village called Iyanju...well, let me start with my father


@6' 9", Ogunmola Ifasegun was the tallest and most handsome dude inIyanju village, the most skilled and fearless hunter. Iyanju village, asleepy farming and hunting village 50 miles north of the old andcharming yoruba city of ogbomoso. Iyanju village like a lot of villageswas carved out of the old oyo empire in the waining days of the fame doromiyon dynasty. Ila odo..about 25 miles to the west and Akere Ifaabout 65 miles down south. Oyo Empire, tradition began to give way to historical fact with theformation and development of the state of Old Oyo. Founded according totradition by Oranmiyan, a son or grandson of Oduduwa, it probably datesfrom the late fourteenth or early fifteenth century A.D., after whichit quickly became politically predominant throughout Yorubaland, its authority extending at its height during the eighteenth century northto the Niger, south to the sea, east as far as Benin, and west toinclude the kingdom of Dahomey. Ademola Ifasegun was Yemisie's pops. He married one of the most beautiful girls (Iyatunde Oguntade) in iyanju village. They had 2 kids(Yemisie and Ogunsegun) ...years back when Iyatunde was a lil girl, itwas customary for parents to take their 16yr old girls to the king'spalace for marital appraisal...but Iyatunde's parents refused to takeIyatunde to the kings palace....openly dissin' the king saying theirdaughter ain't gon be the kings 36th wife. Obviously, the king feltdissed, snubbed and humiliated since it wasn't no secret per Iyatunde'sbeauty in Iyanju village...the king kept his cool but promised never toforgive and forget...somebody's gon pay. Marrofact pay dearly. Few months after Yemisie's 7th birthday, the palace guards showed up @Ogunmola's house, he was taken to the king’s palace...he felt uneasy about going to the kings palace but hecouldn't do shit but smile and wave goodbye to his wife and kids.. The king asked Ademola to cede over his wife to the king to compensate for what Iyatunde's parents did years back...Ademola promptly refused...heknew he wasn't going to leave the kings palace alive...well, he wasright.... @ down, they took him behind the kings palace where he was stripednaked and tied to a freshly broken ant hill, they doused him with honeyand left there in the woods..no food, no water ..he knew exactly what'sgoing to happen to him, @ sunrise..the ants are gonna eat up all thehoney on his body and he's gonna recieve milions lethal bites inthe process…ants are gonna be crawling in and out of his nose, ears and mouth... and he's going to die from shock. Ademola tried to hang in there for his wife and kids but he died afterjust 3 days, he was bitten beyond recognition...his skin heavily sun baked Iyatunde, a very smart and strong woman, she knew her husband wasn't coming back and she knew why...after crying and preparing her kids for worse shit, she decided to make a run for Ila odo village with her kids….the king ain't gonna stop with her husband, the king wanted her and he ain't gonna stop.....well, she was too late..like around 3am...few hrs b4 her plan'd exit from iyanju village, theking and the palace guards showed up. She was severely raped and beaten, her jaw smashed and fractured, her nose smashed in...she strugled to free herself but she was held tyte by 4 strong palace guards,yemise's brother was sound asleep but not yemisie, she stood behind the cutain and peepd everything in silence..Iyatunde yelled out her husband's name which infuriated the king, I'm on top of you and you're still speaking his name...he pulled out a knife and slashed off herleft breast, there was blood everywhere, blood running out of her nose,her eyes swollen and blood shot, he then jabbed his royal walking stick inside her vigina, she yelled and begged for mercy but the king wasn’t having it...she felt the stick inside her....death is around the corner she tough..but she immediately set asside that thought, her main concern was her kids and their safety, she endured the pain and agony...............she passed out. The king and his crew left her for dead. Yemisie rushed to her mother screaming mama mi, mama mi...Iyatunde strugled to open her eyes,strugled to get her kids out of the house.... she owed it to her husband to get the kids to safety, to get the kids miles away fromIyanju village...trying to conserve energy, she motioned yemisie to gether brother……… Ila Odo, just 25 miles away, they should be in Ila Odo beforedusk...she tought. No food no water and in serious pain, living on borrowed time and guaranteed death an inch away..her and her kidsdarted thru the thick jungle of Iyanju, like about 15 miles from IlaOdo, she stoped to get the kids something to eat...Yemisie and herbrother were thirsty and hungry...so she left yemisie and her brotherto scurry around the forest for fruits and edibleleaves....yemisie and her brother hurled up under an iroko tree waitingfor their mother to show up with something to eat..they were scared like shit in the thick and dense forest, weird animals and animal sounds wild flies and butterflies... Yemisie, tired and hungry fell asleep. Her mother, still bloodied andand in pain got back to find a big python like snake wrapped around herson with yemisie fast asleep....she screamed and watched in horror as thehuge snake squeezed and snuffed the life out of her son, yemise woke upcrying and screaming. The snake released segun and crawlled back intothe thick jungle..........segun was dead. Yemisie and her mother criedwhile they bury segun in a shallow grave....yemisie, crying and feelingguilty cos she cdn't protect her brother…she begged her weak and dyingmother for forgiveness...her mother knew death was near, she smiled and hugged her daughter........Iyatunde fell, she could no longer keep her balance...yemise cried out loud ...her loud cry alarted some hunter dude nearby...he responded to yemisie's loud cry......thru pain and and in/out unconsciousness, she whispered her ordeal and begged thehunter to help her, to take care of her daughter, get her to Ila Odo and never to Iyanju Village....the hunter, married with 2 kids of his own agreed and promised to look after yemisie...............Iyatunde managed to squeeze her daughter's hand and clossed her eyes, she crossedover. The Hunter (Akinmolu Odumade) his wife, kids and Ilado village welcomedYemisie, yemise was like one of theirs. Few months after the death ofher mother and brother, yemisie turned 8...she was happy, smart, stronglike her dad and smart and beautiful like her mom, she kept her head upwith a strong determination to push forward, she kept the horrors ofher past to herself..never sharing a word till today (withfendie).........Akinmolu as promised did everything in his power totake good care of yenisie… boycoting all the not up to par schools inand around Ila Odo, Akinmolu sent yemisie to Ogbomosho Girls Academy like about40 miles from ila odo...Akinmolu, his kids and wife visits yemisie every other weekend. Yemisie, very respectful and obedient was an "A"student all the way, the teachers loved her...she ace'd her C/entranceexam and won the state’s best student scholarship...another teacher took interest in her, she coached and prepared yemisie for America's SAT exams which she ace'ed nicely........University of Houston @ Clear Lake accepted her application and offered to pay her under graduate tuition....but how's she gonna get to houston/where isthe money gonna come from?, Akinmolu pondered and debated all kinna options, he debated selling off his farmland, his goats and harvest....well, he did. on a clear blue sky morning, friends, family, villagers/well wishers showed up @ Akinmolu's house to bid farewell to yemisie, they brought gift, they lavished words of encouragements andprayers....kneeling down in front of the people, she cried and thankedthem for their help and support, especially Akinmolu for saving herlife and taking care of her….They called the village photographer to take her picture with thevillagers and a special one with Akinmolu, his wife and her new sisterand brother (Akinmolu's kids). Akinmolu and a representative from the king's palace escorted yemisieto Murtala international Airport in lagos.................. She arrived and started school in houston…(UH@ clearlake)studying to be a pharmacist also working part time @ walgreens pharmacy on el camino real out in clearlake. (Where she met fendie) She looked @ me, I looked@ her..thinkin in my mind that this story just flinged our affairs in a whole different direction……….. ...........................................

Fendie In Africa

Fendie In Africa
so after the doodoo flinging deal and homeboy from Bulawayo setting things straight, I cooled down for a min. we finally hit the Atlantic and everything was cool, they got kids running up and down the boat, chicken and goats making weird noises, women in african diggs cooking and selling all kinna African deal all over the place..Yemisie brought some fried stuff made with black eye peas called ahkarah, I didn't care for so passed and pulled out my beef jerky from 7/11..I got tons of it in my back pack.Things got quiet like around 11pm and the boat was rolling down the Atlantic all slow..I'm siting there asking myself how long is gonna take to row this freaking boat to Africa? So some folks decided to start telling stories and the first story almost got me crying, that ish shook the hell out of me..danm.I felt so sorry for homegirl...she's from New Mexico and it was her first trip back to Africa in like 20yrsk, she left Nigeria @ 16yrs old. She was born in a lil village called Iperu Remo like about 65 miles north of lagos. she was 9 when her parents died, her wealthy hunter/farmer father's life was snuffed out by a python and her mother succumbed to cancer of the breast 2 yrs later, she went to live with her uncle in Ijeboo Igboh. her uncle inherited all her fathers property including farm land, live stock and houses. He promised to protect and look after her.Things changed quickly after arriving @ her uncle's house, he has 2 wives and 8 kids. she was responsible for cooking, cleaning the house, feeding the animals and washing from dawn till dusk...Basically, she was the savant, her uncle kids and wives screems out orders for her to do stuff 24/7, her life was nothing short of nightmare and her uncle was the ultimate monster, he beats her needlessly and locks her up in the back house where he raped her continuously for 2yrs..@ one time she got pregnant and he tried to hide her and the pregnancy from his wives and kids, he forced her to drink some home made abortion drink, she bled for 2 months. she ate animal feed and drank her own urine to stay alive. Her uncle was penniless just 4 yrs after inheriting her fathers wealth...he sold of he farm land, live stock and houses to support his family and lifestyle and rich man status in the village........To be continued::

Something From Our friend Barron Hertzog In California

What's up Alhaji?Na wa oI dey reminisce with my homeboy in Boston and the whole convo' got me LMAO like crazySee, right after high school back in naija, me and my crew no get better to do but clown around and enter all kinds of shenanigans, throway luncheon party everyday, our house be ground zero for neighborhood social malfeasance, if you get shawty wey you won kpansh and you no fit carry am go ya house, no problem, your shawty no see her period, no problem we get tab for Maddy pharmacy (off association in Ilupeju).....make God forgive us all sha.Well, the whole thing come dabaru one day, na one saturday like this, beta no dey, party no dey ra ra. so nothing to do, we just tanda for house gisting say which kain saturday be this? all of a sudden this my friend wey dey boston now con suggest say make we go carry ashawo girls come house take enjoy? first we look am like say abi this bobo don overdose on pure paraga.to cut tory short sha, we agree to the bobo's idea. but we no get enough money to carry one ashawo a piece. anyways, we carry go home with one ashawo short. after small drinks here and there we begin make kpanshing moves, the girls believe say na only 3 guys go fcuk but na 4 of us guys dey..so one of my padis enter the other room as hin no dey fcuk any girl wey no yellow and hin no won fcuk ashawo sef.so we distribute trojanz left and right as action begin ghen ghen ghen, my padi soji leave the one wey hin dey fcuk go take a lil spliff inside the other room, the girl dey wait say where this yeye man, abi hin no sabi fcuk ni?. few mins later hin cut off the light and jump on top the girl begin yansh pah pah pah and all of a sudden the girl say mba mba mba, wetin you dey do? you tink I be any man can fcuck?? so we rush enter the other room go ask say wetin dey happen? the girl dey holla say na different pesin dey fcuck am before and na different pesin dey fcuck am now so hin go charge double...lmaoaccording to her, the pesin wey dey fcuck am before get warm body temp and the pesin wey jump on top am later get cool body temp..na so we begin laff. you see that laff na mistake cos the way the girl dey holla "you tink I be any man can fcuk" non stop you go tink say holy ghost dey her body. very soon all the nosy amebo neighbors go begin perambulate say wetin dey shele. we try cool am down but the baby no dey gree, na one calabar girl like this. so we pull am for side after my friend don explain to me wetin happen. I tell say na the same pesin and that hin just waka go the next room go smoke taffy and the room get AC and na the AC cool hin body down....ha ha ha ha, the girl no gree, even the other girls join in say make we pay dem double and we go see pepper if we no pay kia kia...even Kola the yeye asshole hater next door dey shout say God don catch you.kasala don burst o............we dey there dey pet the useless girls when my papa and his LG chairman friend show up...I look @ the expression on my papa's face and ask myself how bad the shit go get...lol. na the police escort wey my papa friend dey take waka scare the girls comot....we come dey expect make my papa and hin friend tongue lash us, but instead na laff den take us laff, den say the tin foo funny..but we no find am funny at all, not after the the whole neighborhood don sabi wetin happen....so my papa call us say make we go hin friend office, hin say all our shenanigans go stop with immediate effect and dat we dey mess around cos we no get better tin to do. so hin send us go hin friend office say make hin organize work for us. before we know, we dey learn and reading finger prints @ force CID Alagbon...that job na the most boring job ever, everyday we go leave go lunch and go straight home abi go shoot gulf, clown around for polo club abi go chill for our old elementary school after school playground (motor boat club)...na there we dey one day drinking beer during lunch when the same LG chairman enter club with hin padi dem, the bobo look at us, hiss and say you boys no get future ambition..lmao. the yeye job @ alagbon bother us so tay one day we begin debate say we better do something about our lives...before you know we begin discuss how we go enter yankee...the rest na history sha.na wa o
Posted by Omo Eko aka Alhajibabasheri at 2:46 PM 0 comments

Something From Our friend Barron Hertzog In CaliforniaWhat's up Alhaji?Na wa oI dey reminisce with my homeboy in Boston and the whole convo' got me LMAO like crazySee, right after high school back in naija, me and my crew no get better to do but clown around and enter all kinds of shenanigans, throway luncheon party everyday, our house be ground zero for neighborhood social malfeasance, if you get shawty wey you won kpansh and you no fit carry am go ya house, no problem, your shawty no see her period, no problem we get tab for Maddy pharmacy (off association in Ilupeju).....make God forgive us all sha.Well, the whole thing come dabaru one day, na one saturday like this, beta no dey, party no dey ra ra. so nothing to do, we just tanda for house gisting say which kain saturday be this? all of a sudden this my friend wey dey boston now con suggest say make we go carry ashawo girls come house take enjoy? first we look am like say abi this bobo don overdose on pure paraga.to cut tory short sha, we agree to the bobo's idea. but we no get enough money to carry one ashawo a piece. anyways, we carry go home with one ashawo short. after small drinks here and there we begin make kpanshing moves, the girls believe say na only 3 guys go fcuk but na 4 of us guys dey..so one of my padis enter the other room as hin no dey fcuk any girl wey no yellow and hin no won fcuk ashawo sef.so we distribute trojanz left and right as action begin ghen ghen ghen, my padi soji leave the one wey hin dey fcuk go take a lil spliff inside the other room, the girl dey wait say where this yeye man, abi hin no sabi fcuk ni?. few mins later hin cut off the light and jump on top the girl begin yansh pah pah pah and all of a sudden the girl say mba mba mba, wetin you dey do? you tink I be any man can fcuck?? so we rush enter the other room go ask say wetin dey happen? the girl dey holla say na different pesin dey fcuck am before and na different pesin dey fcuck am now so hin go charge double...lmaoaccording to her, the pesin wey dey fcuck am before get warm body temp and the pesin wey jump on top am later get cool body temp..na so we begin laff. you see that laff na mistake cos the way the girl dey holla "you tink I be any man can fcuk" non stop you go tink say holy ghost dey her body. very soon all the nosy amebo neighbors go begin perambulate say wetin dey shele. we try cool am down but the baby no dey gree, na one calabar girl like this. so we pull am for side after my friend don explain to me wetin happen. I tell say na the same pesin and that hin just waka go the next room go smoke taffy and the room get AC and na the AC cool hin body down....ha ha ha ha, the girl no gree, even the other girls join in say make we pay dem double and we go see pepper if we no pay kia kia...even Kola the yeye asshole hater next door dey shout say God don catch you.kasala don burst o............we dey there dey pet the useless girls when my papa and his LG chairman friend show up...I look @ the expression on my papa's face and ask myself how bad the shit go get...lol. na the police escort wey my papa friend dey take waka scare the girls comot....we come dey expect make my papa and hin friend tongue lash us, but instead na laff den take us laff, den say the tin foo funny..but we no find am funny at all, not after the the whole neighborhood don sabi wetin happen....so my papa call us say make we go hin friend office, hin say all our shenanigans go stop with immediate effect and dat we dey mess around cos we no get better tin to do. so hin send us go hin friend office say make hin organize work for us. before we know, we dey learn and reading finger prints @ force CID Alagbon...that job na the most boring job ever, everyday we go leave go lunch and go straight home abi go shoot gulf, clown around for polo club abi go chill for our old elementary school after school playground (motor boat club)...na there we dey one day drinking beer during lunch when the same LG chairman enter club with hin padi dem, the bobo look at us, hiss and say you boys no get future ambition..lmao. the yeye job @ alagbon bother us so tay one day we begin debate say we better do something about our lives...before you know we begin discuss how we go enter yankee...the rest na history sha.na wa o

Words From Lovergirl Ajoke. I Like My Coffee Black

Words From Lovergirl Ajoke. I Like My Coffee BlackI Like My Coffee BlackStraight Black Please!No creamI mean, I've tasted other brewsBlack is what I chooseWhen it's put in my faceHA!The taste!My MyAlways sweetNever bitterI fien for the beenI savor the flavorHe's so strong and boldMy CoffeeMy rich black coffeeThe smell of his aromaSo freshly brewedWhen he touches my lipsThe warmth and smoothness I feel as I swallowHe makes sure that it's till the last dropThen he invited me for moreAnother roundAnother round of that fresh black coffeeA taste that's incredibly profound.

Ajoke From Around he Way.

Ajoke From Around he Way.
Ajoke From Around he Way.NA WA O ….So I dey for pad dey kule jeje with a glass of fine 2004 Dolcetto and shrimp prioliwhen my fone ring tue tue, the way the tin sound I know say na satellite fone dey call meI also know the pesin wey dey call gan sef. E don tey sha, e don tay since I rock that elafon. ha ha ha ha. Anyway, na one homegirl from around the way.I remember a few summers ago when the baby won go marry one unacclimatized Dotun for Pomona valley, one month before the wedding I still dey kpansh and rock this fine opeke bakassi. I go sidon dey think say which kyn tin be this? pesin wey dey marry next month to another man dey come yansh me on the regular. I go die o. I dey feel sorry for the bobo small small sef, but which one consyn me? I no send.So as she dey call me now n’ko? Wetin she want? Anyway, I answer fone? Ajoke how you dey? She say fine and she just land for LAX and make I come pick am up. I say chei! And today na the Prince Uche tin for Nkechi, Koburu, we go get back to prince Uche in a min. so I just otomatikaly tell am say I dey on my way. And I go tell una the reason why I always clear table for this lepa from around the way. See, we grow up together for Ilupeju back in Naija, the one and only super lepa for my area, all the way from Ilupeju Obanikoro reach association to town planning and coker, no lepa fit tosh am, even back then, her body dey shack everybody like 20yr old fermented paraga…lol.But me and my crew no fit tosh am then cos her older brother belong to HBC (Haters Boys Club) HBC no get no love for area back then, na my crew dey coordinate social activities for Ilupeju, you see, we dey high school back then. Our parents dey let us get away with all kind of shit cos we sabi book and we dey collect good grades. We get access to different rides, money, special effects and other instruments of toasting. We dey stage luncheon party like nothing. This HBC people just no like us cos we get style and we dey control all the fine fine omoge and social activities for Ilupeju estate. We even make sure say invitation cards no dey reach their side, we no dey include dem every sunday wen we dey carry multiple car caravan go beach..and to make matter worse, na my house be recreation center for all the high school boys and girls for Ilupeju, we dey have fun sha.Na so we Ignore ‘joke back then cos of her brother, the thing pain am no be small, she even beg my sister to intervene but we no gree, we just no won deal with her brother, to deal with her go mean say we go dey drive go her house to pick her up every time we won comot go party abi beach. Mba!Sha, na so we come jamm @ one party for valley after so many years, na the Dotun dude carry am go the party, me too I carry one friend go. So we collect each other number and gree say we go keep in tosh. Me I dey think say keep in tosh mean like next month, she kuku call me the following night sha..lol. We talk and joke about our shenanigans back in Ilupeju. After 20 mins conversation she say shey we fit get together…I say no yawa. She say make I meet am half way, so half way go be westwood by UCLA. I quickly jump inside shower, pull out one olive green peter north shirt and Melrose Bay dress pants, I troway one Wilkie Rodriguez blazer on top with Von Rolston casual spa shoe, spray Iquitos for men for body before I grab my key comot for house. I jump inside my M45 and quickly drop the top as I hopp on top 405 north while listening to “Put a little love on me” by Delegation.After dinner @ the Red Door in Westwood, she invited me say make I come go know her place, so I follow am go San Fernando valley. Her pad fine sha, very tasty and cosmo-afrocentric, she even get lalique crystal wine glass sef. She pure wine inside one/the same glass for us both…lol. I con smile @ Belgian move, e mean say we go see the bottom of that bottle together. The wine good no be small, na rich carbonet sauvignon with smooth and mellow finishing for mouth, all the rich wine aroma present…she sabi her wine too.We finish the bottle as we dey talk so she comot go bring another bottle, I dey look at her kila low waist Ikebe as she dey waka go. Chei! Anyways sha, she know wetin she want and she know say I know wetin she want so I no go do sme sme waste my time. I moved in as she dey pure the wine, she just jejely put the wine bottle and glass for table and wrap her lips around mine, I quickly mentally paced my standing to make sure say I dey fully balance before I begin do maneuver as I dey robb and grind, her breath dey neutral, the food we eat and the wine no dey her breath at all, she must have sprayed something anticipating the encounter.I smile as I ran my hand down her Ikebe and back up via her jet black hair, she spray one of dem sweet wet perfumes. She unbuttoned my shirt and before I know she don dey comot my belt, me sef don dey clear road, her top don land for carpet, her breast dey in full view (I swear I like wen women no dey wear bra sometimes) well formed breast with dark and well pronounced areola and aggressive hard nipples. She don close her eyes paparapa, she gently dropped her pants revealing half cut white lace pata, I just kuku finish the job and pull am comot.I almost holla eledumare as I peep her well trimmed control tower. She made a swift move and walk me inside her bedroom. I peeped the room out for a sec’, she get this well laid out and spacious bedroom with California king size bed toped with RL ensemble from top to bottom. She pulled me close and comot my brief. Wow!!So we begin trade heat and lust, she dey reach for every corner for my body while I dey make calculated and deliberate advances on the inside, she busted less that 2-3 mins after my tongue land her warm clits. She held me tight for a min, moving violently with her eyes wide shot, I quickly entered gently vanilla mono directional style, she responded with kangaroo leg up style making room for me to advance deeper, I didn’t take the offer, I kept my pace and spot for another couple of mins, trying to throw her off balance and not knowing what’s coming.So I eject fully and thrust straight down full throttle while swiping her clits and groove with each thrust while keeping firm and deliberate pace. Feeling my steady and powerful moves, she responded with tyte lobster claw before busting again. I gently moved her waist to the side with her right leg half bent.. she quickly figured out what I was trying to do so she adjusted perfectly.Now I got perfect grasshopper pose, she felt every push, every pressure and horsepower. I think she enjoyed the grasshopper cos she held on thru out, I gave her six deep and 2 half thrust cycle to maximize pleasure. She placed my right hand on her breast while she hit and shadow glanced my ninja, she screamed no no no no like about six-seven times, I knew she cudn’t take it anymore, sometimes anticlimactic pleasure is not good during sex, it’s very easy to get SOB. So I knew I had to let it out..esp’ when she begin play with my tits’, I felt it, it was good, really. So we both burst it sha.She finally open her eyes, her well toned body dey glistening with sweat from her forehead down to her tits and abs. We both smiled and went to sleep.Anyways, enough of all that, make we go back to the fone call.You see, Joke dey work for Global Energy Solutions out in frisco, she be one of their top marketing exec’. She dey travel go oil region worldwide all the time, same way me too dey travel all the time. She be first class lepa, she dey young, rich, stylish and classy, educated and smart. Every time she land after she don waka go do business, body go don full, she go need to offload and get nice major kpanshing, no matter where she dey, she go call me to let me know say she dey land, I truly like her for that, no be because of the kpanshing, na because she fit carry her toto go anywhere but instead na me she dey run give am to ..even before she go frisco to debrief after every trip..she go first stop and on top of that, the baby is fine, she’s clean, generous, considerate, good hearted and she get first class cooshie hands down and I know say she’s in love with me too. HA!So I jump inside moto and reach LAX in less than 5 mins. We hugged and kissed for a cool min. I put her 2 leather cloud vincente luggage inside trunk. She was intentionally hungry cos she know say better food go dey my side. We reach my side in no time, she quickly go take shower after I pull out her overnight stuff she get for my pad. I lite candle and play sade cd (her favorite)for am inside bathroom.I quickly set the table for 2 while she dey inside shower, I pull out my top stuff from plates to cutle’ and glasses, iced up a nice bottle of pinot griss and lite candle. The room no need anything cos that one dey always ready.. Bedroom na instrument of magic so I no dey spend cheap. She like to waka around my pad half naked..lol. me I no dey mind sha, na the level of comfort she dey feel around me and I appreciate am, her tits/nipples be natural Aphrodisiac sef. So we ate and try catch up, mostly family talk, hers and mine. I told her about Prince Uche…she laughed and say no problem. After dinner she enter kitchen to clean table and do dishes.. Well, I helped her..you see why I like this girl, pesin wey just comot from 14hrs flight, tired, serious akada no mind @ all, she just begin do dishes, na so she dey always fling off her prada and dkny and get bussy..den sure no dey make opeke like her no more.Koburu sha, we enter bedroom, I give am soft massage, we made sweet love in the dark and she said I love you Ola before she catch am, I kissed her and went to sleep.I go yarn about prince uche later........Omo Eko love series

She never said yes to my proposal::

She never said yes to my proposal::By YOMI AWOFISIBEMeeting Dr. George Olagunju and his beau, Titilayo, you will not but wonder why they couldn’t stop looking at each other as if one’s life depends on the other. You’ll equally wonder why they are so close after almost 10 years of marriage.According to the visibly love struck couple, their journey to tying the nuptial started when they were both in primary school. To be precise, they met in primary 1 and believe it or not, they are quick to tell you that they developed interest in one another right from that time, when they barely knew their left hands from the right.Excerpts:She is my original loveIt all started when we were in primary school. We started together in Efon Alaye, even though her father is from Ogbomoso, and her mother is from Efon Alaye. I saw her for the very first time in that month of September, looking so beautiful and I said to myself that I would like her to be my friend right from that moment.Met at fiveSo, it became clearer that truly we are made for each other and I was just five years old, and she was five years old. Luckily for us, it has been a beautiful friendship. She is quiet. Boys in the class used to take advantage of her quietness and to her food and take her money. Usually, I would go there on her behalf, fought all of them and collected her things for her. She saw me as her defender and decided to pitch her tent with me. We used to sit together and anything she brought from home we ate together during break time and P.E period.She fell sickThen something happened to her in primary four. She fell sick and I went to our teacher to tell her that I would take Titi home and our teacher said ‘Olagunju, do you know her?’ and I said yes, she is my sister. She said you are stubborn, well I didn’t know the meaning of that word and I said thank you ma, I stood there happy as long as she would allow me to take her home.A breakFrom that day till today, I have had access to her house. Somehow, my father noticed the affinity between us and had to send me to Ibadan. That was when we separated and I came back to Efon-Alaye in 1979, to start my secondary school and as fate would have it, we ended up in the same school. When I saw her, she was more mature. I went to her and asked her, ‘can you remember me?’She said yes, you are Femi, and we continued our friendship. She has been very wonderful since then. We went to tertiary institutions and she even started making money before me. After my tertiary education, she came to visit me when I was working in Port Harcourt unannounced.My proposalWhen she got to my office, I told everybody that I have finished the day’s work when the time was just about 10.am. We left the office for my apartment where she cooked a sumptuous meal with less than N500. My other girlfriends would have asked us to go out and eat at one of the joints and drink, not minding how much I will be spending. So, I said to myself, this is my original wife. A girl that is this nice and considerate, I must marry her as soon as possible. So, I proposed to her and she introduced me officially to her father. Her father and I discussed at length and I think that influenced her decision about me. Till today, she has not even answered my proposal, after three children.He is my prince in shining armorMy husband is my ideal man. From when we met in primary one, I have admired his brilliance. Another thing I fell for was how he uses his left hand. He was always the one who came to my rescue when some other boys tried to bully me. He was and is still my prince in shining armor.

Alhaja's Luck And Contentions

Alhaja's Luck And ContentionsAlhaja, I know it's crap but at least it's jellin'In any case you can guess what I'm proposin'Oh if you fall asleep I'll assume you're agreein'Let me start first by tellin' you thisYou're the only one who can bring me blissIf you don't throw out my LUDO board gameOh you're a great cook I must saySurely the best I've seen from agege to shomolu barigaFrom maiduguri to North CarolinaThanks to you I no longer have to payTo get myself some great tasting abulaBy just grantin' me this marital statusNo matter how far I have to travelOr how many suitors I have to battleI'm determined to make you my damselTell me would it help if I grovelAlhaja love, I'm not the type with lots of WURA and FADAKABut we don't need that for life's game of doublesAnd though I may not have the deepest money safeI think I'll make enough to pay for your facialsWhatever you say I will obeyFor whatever reason our paths did collideA good life to you I'll forever provideSo feel no worry in being my brideMoney-back guarantee if you're not satisfiedOnly valid if still within warranty periodIn whichever country our home may belongIf people were to know you as Mrs Olowolaiyemo Omo EkoOur road ahead will surely have troublesWe must expect our fair share of strugglesBut if your love or interest in me ever dwindlesIf ever my heart should one day strayIf ever my should betrayThen mark the words that I now sayLet my vital parts shrink and shrivel awaySaying no would cut like a knifeAnd bring upon me untold strifeSo if you should refuse to be my wifeI'll keep bugging you for the rest of my lifeAnd now you've heard my humble pleaI kneel nervously in wait of your decreeSo what do you say?PleasePleaseWill you marrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrWill you marrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrWill you marrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrDamm, i can't get it outNext timeMaybe next time..................

Fendie Got Dating Tips For The Fellas


NEVER, EVER date a single mother. You already know her stance on abortion, she wont have one. Don't risk paying vaginamoney! PLUS, her kids will always come before you! Why would you want to be second place to some spoiled little brat!?!

Never do what a b/ish wants you to do. You make the money, you decide where you are going and what you are doing.

Don't ask a women what she wants to do.

Never tell a women how much money you make.

Don't EVER date co-workers! Unless you don't give a rats ass about your job, stay away from people you work with! It's always asking for trouble.

Never answer the phone, or go out on the weekend. Even if you really don't, you have to make it appear as though you have better things to do than be with her on the weekends.

y'all should never spend more than 40 bucks on a date. This includes buying gifts, flowers, candy, jewelry, etc. shit does NOT help in getting laid. It's a waste of money. If anything, buy alcohol and get her drunk.

y'all never approach a woman in a club who has her girlfriends with her. There is NO point, you will NOT get laid when women are in groups.

If you are not getting laid by the 3rd date, dump that b/ish and move on.

No spooning, no cuddling, no staying over. Get in, get out!

Never be in a committed relationship UNTIL you are really ready to settle down.

NEVER answer the phone on the weekends. It makes you look like you have nothing better to do. Weekends should be reserved for hanging out with your buddies or for guaranteed sex. Even if you really have nothing to do, let the answering machine take the call. You're busy.

Don't speak to women you work with unless it's related directly to work. Don't date them. Don't tell them they look nice. Don't comment on anything except whatever work needs you have, because you're a walking lawsuit waiting to happen

y'all feel me?? it's H/Town baby




fendaa c bendaa